I’m not ready to feel old. I keep telling myself that.
But maybe I am.
We decided to renew our passports, since we don’t have those newfangled enhanced driver’s licenses yet. We got our licenses literally two months before that law was enacted, so we’ve got the “old” ones and they don’t expire until 2021. We won’t be able to travel, even domestically, starting next year without doing something.
Therefore, we showed up at the AAA office to get our passport photos taken. I’d forgotten that they’d require me to take off my glasses for the photo.
They won’t get an accurate photo of me, I thought, but whatever.
Then, they said: Don’t smile.
They really don’t want reality.
When the lady who took my photo showed me what she developed, I thought, well, that’s what the government wants.
I look old.
See the wrinkles. Gray hair on the side.
Up against the wall.
Maybe that is reality.
Those wrinkles aren’t fake. Neither is the gray hair.
Not feeling old
My health is excellent, so I’m not ready to feel old.
I try to exercise, work up a good sweat, once or twice a week.
In addition, I volunteer with a group of high school and early 20s young men at an after-school basketball program our church youth director hosts. Only a few showed up last week, so I got to play.
We played three-on-three half-court, so we weren’t sprinting, but it’s in a gym with no air circulation on an 80-plus-degree day, so all of us needed water breaks. I actually made a basket or two. That’s about it, but I didn’t embarrass myself. Too much.
I’m not ready to feel old yet.
At least I was out there.
Hills and valleys
A few days later, I felt old again. I had a mountaintop experience on Saturday with several hundred leaders of an international Bible study. I’ll be a group leader this year. I met many wonderful people I’ll be serving with, heard several great speakers and participated in some great worship.
The 75-minute drive there and back was easy.
Unfortunately we can’t live on mountaintops. Daily life often takes place in the valleys.
Monday was a “valley” day.
I’m learning a lot about perseverance and the steadfast love of God this summer. Some days, we just press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14).
Press on, whether I feel like it or not.
One step forward, two steps back, sometimes.
But keep going.
Our youngest son visited us last weekend. He left for home Monday morning. Tonight, I’ll see our other two sons. Our oldest son and I have attended an annual event in the Cincinnati area for several years, and they surprised me a couple of days ago by letting me know our middle son will fly in from Denver to join us.
Very cool. Another mountaintop experience awaits.
In between, there’s a valley.
Even the clouds rolled in on Monday, hiding the sun’s brightness.
I had things to do to keep busy, but some days it’s hard to get motivated.
Not “doing” life
Reading a book isn’t a cop-out, is it?
I’ve spent a fair amount of time reading this summer. I love the English language. In addition to writing it, I enjoy reading it. Novels. History. Sports. Current events in the local newspaper.
I’m not contributing to society when I read a book. I’m not “doing” anything.
In our high-achieving society, I’m an anomaly, I guess. There are days when I’ll just watch the world go by, let you all change the world and I’ll just wait my turn.
I read social media, but I don’t post nearly as much as many of you do. I’m not obsessed that way. I don’t do memes. I especially don’t share memes. Don’t try the “I bet I won’t get one share” crap with me. I see those literally every day, and yes, I scroll right past them.
Can I get an Amen?
I’ll wager a lot of those memes are fake anyway.
I will decide myself where to volunteer my time, what to post and what to comment on, thank you.
I’m not about emotion.
So, maybe that passport photo is accurate, then.
Or, maybe I do feel emotion, but I just don’t share it. Not worth the effort.
I pick my battles, and not too many of them.
Even at home. Especially at home.
There’s one chapter left in the book I’m reading now. Maybe I’ll finish it here in a minute.
Sometimes I put on some soft music when I read; other times, I read in silence. Music relaxes me.
I grew up listening to background music. Classical. Mom and Dad still play classical music, either on the radio or on some of the many albums they have, all the time.
In high school choir, we sang Handel’s Messiah. In a public school. That’s the best music ever written.
Those were the days.
What do they sing in school choirs now? I have no idea. Haven’t been to a high school concert in a long time. Should find an excuse to do that this year.
In the meantime, I’ll read in my spare time. I have a few events to prepare for, some imminent and some long-term. I’ll take my time and try to prepare well.
Until next time. Enjoy your mountaintops and get through your valleys.
Neither lasts forever.
Good thing, right?