Three thoughts on the tunnel fight after the recent University of Michigan-Michigan State rivalry football game:
Before I offer that, here’s the background. After U-M soundly defeated MSU, 29-7, on Oct. 29, Spartans players were returning to the visitors’ team locker room when they came in contact with one or two U-M players. Multiple MSU players kicked, punched and otherwise beat up the U-M players.
Michigan State’s head coach, Mel Tucker, has suspended eight players for their roles in the incident. The Big Ten and both universities’ police departments are continuing to investigate the situation.
My thoughts:
- I am a graduate of Michigan State. In no way do I condone or defend what the MSU players did. A gang beating is never acceptable. The offenders should face consequences.
This is a non-negotiable.
2. One friend who I respect commented that the U-M player “put himself in that situation for a beatdown.” He went on to say, “I’m not ok with it but I understand it. I’m also keeping it in what I believe is proper context. This happened immediately after an intense contact sport just finished (and) emotions and hormones are running hot, this guy made the wrong move.”
Again, this does not condone a “beatdown.” But I think there’s more to the story than the universities are telling us. Ultimate justice might take a little while to sort out.
A half-time “jawing” incident took place two weeks before this one in the same tunnel. This altercation was verbal and not physical, but two tunnel incidents in the same month is a disturbing trend.
Again, I offer no judgment until justice sorts itself out.
3. As adults across the United States, we have lost the ability to communicate with each other respectfully on difficult or emotional issues. When one of us breaks into Nancy Pelosi’s house, for example, threatens her and injures her husband, what kind of example are we setting?
These young football players weren’t doing anything different than far too many adults are doing now. If they emulate us, which young people do as they seek their way in the world, why should we be surprised? Who are their role models?
This is the most disturbing part of this tunnel vision scenario to me, and one we haven’t talked about yet. We have met the enemy, and he is us.
We have created a culture in this country where it’s OK for adults to get angry, and even violent, with each other. We defend an attempted insurrection in our nation’s Capitol building, for heaven’s sake. We have elevated a gun culture – their only purpose is to kill or maim.
Domestic abuse remains a serious problem. Abortion has decreased over time, but remains an issue in society. Anger and violence take many forms.
These are the lessons we are teaching our young people, by our actions if not our words. Yes, each person is responsible for his or her own behavior, but where is the restraint? Respect? Leadership? Guidance?
Coach Tucker does not operate in a vacuum. He can do only so much.
Public schools are a hotbed for violence and anger, because people of all viewpoints are forced to meet each other in their children’s classrooms – or at a school board meeting. Teachers do a super-human job every day in leading children who have a wide range of learning styles and abilities, as well as beliefs taught to them (or not) by their parents or guardians.
Hats off to teachers and school administrators for leading well, despite the lightning rod roles we have fostered on them.
Back to athletics. I haven’t attended a youth soccer or baseball game recently (my children are grown), but I’ve heard horror stories from referees and umpires who are forced to take abuse from parents who don’t like the calls they make.
Again, if this is how adults act, why should we expect a different attitude from our young people?
We can preach respect and good sportsmanship until we are blue in the face, but we lead by our actions. That’s what our young people see and emulate.
If we respond to a bad call or a loss with anger, then that’s what we are modeling for our young people.
My family attended a church in Saginaw, Mich., for more than 20 years. Our pastor for most of that time was a U-M graduate and a sports fan. There were several U-M and MSU boosters in the congregation – as well as at least three Ohio State supporters.
During the college football and basketball seasons, we had fun with it. We ribbed each other. Since the pastor had the pulpit, he got the final say, but it was lighthearted fun.
We supported our schools and remained friends – and still are friends. And still support our schools.
Don’t tell me it can’t be done.
We take life far too seriously. College athletes now can get paid. Betting and fantasy leagues often are more important than the real games.
We’ve lost the focus of what sports are all about: Teamwork. Sportsmanship. Doing your part, and trusting your teammates to do theirs. Encouragement. Self-discipline (athletes have to be in tip-top shape to perform their best).
All of those character traits transfer to the real world.
And we’ve lost them.
That’s our fault as adults. We have chosen to abandon the character traits that built this nation.
If we want to take back America, we have to re-learn the basics of life – which teachers begin teaching in preschool and kindergarten, by the way.
Let’s get back in the sandbox and learn how to play together.
For real.
the liberal conservative 
Your assessment of the situations described I agree with. However, your final conclusion about people’s behavior I disagree with:
“If we want to take back America, we have to re-learn the basics of life – which teachers begin teaching in preschool and kindergarten, by the way.”
I was a preschool and kindergarten teacher for seveal years, albeit not recently. Your statement is incorrect in that it puts too much responsibility on teachers, which is why so many leave the field due to burn out (including me)
The basics of life need to be taught at home, starting long before kindergarten. You are a good example, Bill: you taught your boys right and wrong, proper/inproper things to say and behaviors, courtesy and respect for others as babies. Before they could talk, they could see how you and their mother spoke and acted. You disciplined them when necessary – not abuse but made clear what was acceptable and not acceptable. Attending church helped, but I do not believe church attendance is necessary for children to learn good morals, as long as parents model it and expect the same from others.
Of course, teachers need to maintain discipline in the classroom, but teaching morals is not part of the curriculum nor should it be. Everyone has personal beliefs and are entitled to them, but it is not educators’ job to teach right/wrong, appropriate inappropriate actions and speech if students have none.
I give personal examples: I had a 4-year old who used the “F” word at day care when playing with other children, who took it home. I heard about it from offended parents. I had a 1-1 conferece with the child’s mother: she said plainly, we do use that word at home. My response: What you do at home is none of my business, but this is inappropriate for school. She said she thought her child understood the difference between how they talk at home at what is ok for day care. (a 4 year old?) I simply asked her to talk to the child again. (I deliberatly avoided using a gender pronoun, because whether this child is a boy or girl is irrelevant.) She heeded my request; the issue at day care stopped.
While I was teaching kindergarten, I had one student I sent to the office multiple times for aggression, including throwing a chair across the room once. His mother finally came to school, and while the class was at recess she took her child into the bathroom (attached to the classroom) and disciplined by belt whipping. The door was closed but I have no doubt about it: I saw her unbuckle her belt as she led the child into the bathroom; I heard it hitting the child and painful screaminb. Here, home discipline was so harsh it’s not surprising the child had pent up aggression that displayed itself in the classroom. No discipline is bad (my opinion), but so is excessve punishment. Where to draw the line? I won’t give any specifics, I only know that children learn from their environment – which is exactly your point in the article.
A couple other brief examples: when talking about favorite TV/movie characters (same kindergarten as above incident), one said Freddy Kruger. A kindergartener enjoying Friday the 13th movies? Maybe I’m being overly judgmental. …. The kids sat on the floor during story time: I had to tell one boy to keep his hands to himself more than once because they were in the lap of the girl sitting next to him, slowly sliding up her leg…
Last example – not from my classroom but from another kindergarten I knew; this day care/kindergarten was run by a church. I heard about a boy who was already seeing a therapist due to issues at home; he told his therapist about an incident where he was in the bathroom same time as another boy. The other boy suggested they both pull down their pants – sexual curiosity is normal at this age so no problem there – but the one boy put his penis in the other’s anus. Forgive the language, but I just mentioned scientific body part names. The recepient was the one in therapy, and therapist reported it to school principal and also social services, as she was legally required to do. The principal and mother of the perpetrator were very upset – just boys playing, they said. As a preschool/kindergarten teacher, i can’t help but wonder where the one boy got such an idea. Touching and exploration is normal, but actual insertion?
I’ll get off my soap box now, but my biggest nerve was hit here: the problem with our schools isn’t teachers, it’s parents. Too many parents expect schools to do their job for them. If I see a 10-year old in trouble with the law, my first thought is that the child’s parents are also at fault and need to share whatever legal consequenses the child is given.
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Well said. Thank you for this. I’m sorry I came across as hard on teachers. I’m convinced that most of our social problems are a direct result of the breakdown of the nuclear family. Your stories, I think, affirm this. What we do affects others, and yes, that needs to be taught to parents, if they haven’t learned it.
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